Royce Eddington

A new article on Bloomberg today whips out a size 13 chankla and goes all upside Steve Job’s head.

The first paragraph of the story says that “Consumer Reports said it isn’t recommending Apple Inc.’s iPhone 4 following tests confirming it has a hardware flaw that causes signal quality to degrade. “The problem seems to be a design flaw, and it is significant,” Mike Gikas, senior electronics editor for Consumer Reports”

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

And duh!

I’ve been suffering with AT&Ts craptacular service for years now, and it’s only a matter of time before I can finally get away from dropped calls, dozens of missed texts that suddenly flood in, and phones that don’t ring when someone calls me. But I have noticed the iPhone itself will completely “forget” it has WiFi, and will often power off for no reason. Neither of those problems have anything to do with AT&T’s service.

Maybe Apple and AT&T were made for each other after all.

For a brand new 2010 iPhone to drop calls because someone is “holding it wrong” is complete garbage. That should have been caught in the “alpha” stage of testing, not the “consumer testing” phase.

Here’s the link to the Bloomberg article.

AT&T now says they cover over 220 countries! That’s quite an upgrade to their cellular network!

AT&T Stupidity

This claim is really amazing since the United States’ State Department recognizes 194 independent countries and the UN says there are only 195!

Here’s the full list of countries from WikiAnswers.com.

Covering more than 25 imaginary countries! That’s AT&T!

Hey AT&T… tell the bonehead who came up with this ad to check out this crazy new thing called GOOGLE next time.

AT&T just doesn’t know what the hell to do anymore.

On a new story on Business Insider, they say that “AT&T is undertaking an ambitious rebranding effort under the banner “Rethink Possible” that includes a redesign that updates its trademark logo.”

AT&T is pulling in the big guns on this, using Omnicom Group’s BBDO ad agency for this project. I worked with Omnicom a loooong time ago, and I know firsthand they’re an awesome company, so expect some slick ads and PR for AT&T coming soon.

But despite all this, AT&Ts service still sucks. Their horrible service is the core problem they either will not or can not address. Until that core problem is fixed, all this new and improved imaging will just be burning money. Because when Consumer Reports labels you as the “worst carrier in the US”, and hundreds of bloggers (like me!) go out of their way to mention how horrible the cellular service is and keep as many new customers away as possible, I predict AT&T is will *not* see a lot of new subscribers regardless of how awesome the new ads are going to be.

I also predict AT&T will see a big “churn” this year (customers leaving their sorry service), as the first generation iPhone customers will finally be free to leave their cellular contracts without a financial penalty.

Hey AT&T, you’re a lot like the punk fighter who talks a lot of smack but gets knocked out in the second round by the champ. Saying you’re awesome means nothing. Do you want people to take you seriously? Want to be the champ? Quit talking trash and show us something. Spend 3/4 of that “rebranding” budget on substantial network upgrades so your own customers will notice and freak out at how awesome things are now that their calls don’t drop every two minutes and they get more than one bar of signal on their phone. Make your service so wonderful people recommend you to their friends.

As Craig Ferguson would say, “Ah hah hah! Made myself laugh!”

Here’s the link to the story on Business Insider.

AT&T Fail Logo No 2

AT&T just delivered another brilliant plan to fix their busted-ass antiquated network.

Starting their new project in San Francisco and New York, they intend to install a mini-cell tower in homes that are connected to their internet service to boost the homeowner’s cellphone signal.

But wait! There’s more! Since this is AT&T, they intend to charge $150 for installing and using this mini-cell tower, and will also charge additional minutes for cell phone calls that come in over this device!

AT&T is so damn stupid and incompetent, it’s amazing how they stay in business day to day.

Like one of their customers said in the article… ““They want to find a new way to make money off me, versus actually servicing me for the money I pay already… They’re trying to find a way to profit from their weakness.”

Here’s the link to the article on the New York Times.

Sprint just announced a new “Satisfaction Guaranteed or Money-Back” offer.

“Beginning tomorrow, the Sprint Free Guarantee gives any customer opening a new line of service the chance to try Sprint for 30 days. If a customer isn’t completely satisfied, they can get reimbursed for the device purchase and activation fee, get the early termination fee waived, get a full refund for service plan monthly recurring charges incurred and get all associated taxes and Sprint surcharges associated with these charges waived. In addition, Sprint will waive the restocking fee for new customer exchanges as part of this policy.”

Dear Verizon: Wow. The gauntlet has been thrown. Any response?

Dear AT&T : You suck. Don’t bother pulling out some father’s brother’s newphew’s cousin’s former roommate of a celebrity for some lame commercials to pretend you can keep up with this.

For complete information about the Sprint Free Guarantee visit, www.sprint.com/guarantee beginning tomorrow.

Just saw this over on Consumerist…

“Following up on yesterday’s news that Apple is preparing to start production on Verizon-compatible iPhones, the Wall Street Journal now says that AT&T has been working since December to improve their existing networks to remain competitive when the inevitable battle for iPhone market share begins.”

Oh, now AT&T wants to improve their network now that a company with a superior network is coming along to take their customers!

Dear AT&T: It’s too late chumps. Far too late. For years I’ve had nothing but miserable service from since I purchased my iPhone. Constantly dropped calls. Calls that will not go through even after 4 or 5 tries. Suddenly getting a “7 missed calls” notice on my iPhone when it hasn’t rung all day. Having less than 1 bar 90% of the time. Phone conversations so distorted it sounds like I’m talking to an electronic robot and not another human being.

I can honestly say in the 12 years that I’ve had cell phones, AT&Ts service has been the absolute worst. The pinnacle of rotten, slipshod, and pathetic efforts that only a doddering company far past its’ time would have the nerve to pass off and sell. The fact that you launched a “100-day plan in late 2009″ and are only now getting your pathetic tech up to date proves you really don’t give a damn about your customers.

You are the proud owners of the technical equivalent of a pitted gravel farm road, and are only now dimly aware of the concrete overpass about to take your livelihood away.

For the record, as of today, I’ve successfully kept 14 people off AT&T’s cellular service. That’s not a lot of people, but it’s 14 customers who now have a chance with a real wireless phone company.

I hope the Verizon story is true this time.

Here’s the story on Consumerist and on the Wall Street Journal.

Apple’s not-so-secret tablet is about to be unveiled next week. And from the looks of things, Apple has chosen Verizon to be the exclusive carrier for their new product!

Apple Tablet

Hey AT&T! Have you been paying attention? Do you see how things are about to get real ugly for your bottom line?

Instead of upgrading your rusty old network to keep iPhone customers happy, you decided to say things to your paying customers like “You don’t have enough towers to handle the phone”… and to do things like charge your unlimited customers for using the network in an unlimited manner… and even get nailed by Consumer Reports as “the worst carrier in the Unuted States.”

So now that you fumbled the ball for a relatively simple thing, you’re going to be benched for the upcoming big game.

Verizon is not only about to take a huge chunk of AT&Ts iPhone customers away, but is now going to be the only US company to carry Apple’s new tablet.

I can’t wait!

Here’s the exclusive article on The Street about the Verizon / Apple deal.

I downloaded the “Mark The Spot” application on the iTunes store so I could report problems with AT&Ts’ rotten service from my iPhone.

The application is pretty straightforward. You click on the problem, how often it happens, and hit submit.

AT&T iPhone Error Reporting 1

There’s one small problem with this error reporting application. If you’re trying to tell AT&T there’s no coverage in the area you’re in, the application apparently does not retain the information for a delayed submission. Instead you will see…

AT&T iPhone Error Reporting 2

So how am I supposed to tell AT&T there’s no coverage in an area if the application doesn’t save any data to submit later? How is this helping these idiots make their network any better?

This was too good not to immediately post this morning.

According to an article on the consumerist, AT&T is no longer selling iPhones in New York City. You know… the New York City? One of the greatest cities in the United States?

When the Consumerist went online with AT&T customer service to find out why, they were told by a rep named Daphne… “I am happy to be helping you today. Yes, this is correct the phone is not offered to you because New York is not ready for the iPhone. You don’t have enough towers to handle the phone.”

AT&T is not even trying anymore. They actually have the unmitigated balls to tell a customer that it’s their fault there aren’t enough towers in their city. Instead of getting off their duff and fixing their network, they’re restricting sales to new, paying customers… customers who want to buy their product… because their busted-ass network is past their capacity to manage.

“You don’t have enough towers to handle the phone.”

I think AT&Ts solution to the problem will be to fire Daphne, then issue a press release to say “we’re striving to be the best and will continue to do everything we can to be the best because we are the best at talking about what’s the best… blah blah blah.”

AT&T’s pinhead managers apparently decided not to let anyone else into their network because they’re past the maximum threshold their ancient system can handle, so they’re done with that city. And by proxy, so is the iPhone.

Hey Apple / Steve Jobs. You might want to review your contract with these idiots to see if there’s something in there you can hammer them with. Because, quite frankly, if you don’t do something about this, every other cellular carrier is going to notice you don’t mind when someone walks all over you and smacks you around a bit. And think of it this way, too… do you think Microsoft (under Gates or Ballmer) would stand for a fraction of this treatment from their partners? Ask yourself, What Would Microsoft Do if this was happening to them?

Time to unleash the hounds and get some respect back.

Verizon says they’re ready for the iPhone, and I gotta tell you, it can’t come soon enough!

In an article on NeoWin, “According to BusinessWeek, Verizon Wireless Chief Technology Officer, Anthony Melone, said that in the event that AT&T’s exclusivity deal is broken, Verizon is ready for the iPhone. Melone confirms that Verizon has been beefing up its network to prepare for the possibility of adding the world’s most popular smartphone to their lineup. “We have put things in place already… We are prepared to support that traffic.” Melone feels that Verizon’s network and equipment would do a much better job of handling the heavy traffic load produced by the iPhone, stating, “Absolutely, I think we could handle it.”"

YES!!!

In addition, Verizon is serious about keeping iPhone users happy. They’re deploying 100 trucks for their technicians to… “literally drive on roads throughout the country testing the service of their own devices as well as devices of their rivals… If techies find an area that has weak service, the company can target more investment to improve the quality of the phone call or the data download.”

As soon as the day comes, I’m bailing on AT&T. I’m almost free of their two years of crap service, and it can’t come soon enough!! Since AT&T hasn’t bothered to make any serious upgrades to their rickety network for the iPhone until late this year, the best way I can think of to say “thanks” for two years of horrible service is with my pocketbook. As soon as my contract is up with AT&T, I’m going to stay month to month until the Verizon deal is announced. Then I’m jumping to Verizon as soon as I can.

I bet we will get to watch AT&T’s bottom line sink like a brick in concrete shoes next year when all the iPhone users finally get a chance to abandon the AT&T ship. And I also predict we will get to watch some very long-overdue AT&T executive heads roll soon after.

Here’s the link to the NeoWin article.

And a link to the Business Week article.