Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.

* Ginormous hedge bets are being placed against the Euro by George Soros and other mega-sized Wall Street hedge funds. In English, this means they’re betting the Euro will collapse (or tank in value) so $1 Euro = $1 US… or worse! And if they’re right, they will make tons of money off their bet! When multi-multi-billionaires put a large chunk of their money on something, they either know something we don’t know, or are about to cause something we don’t know about yet. Oh yeah. This is going to get ugly. With a capital U G L and Y. [DAILYMAIL.UK]

* Meanwhile, “China has confirmed the intention to purchase 191.3 tons of gold from the International Monetary Fund at an open auction.” That’s HALF of the IMF’s gold. Why do I have a feeling this is going to come back to bite us right in the kanickies? [PRAVDA]

* The winner of the solid gold WTF crown this week is the Unites States! Specifically, the part of the United States that is currently selling arms to India and Pakistan. And not just guns! Surveillance drones too! Because nothing says “good times” like arming two countries who hate each other and watching what happens! [DAILYTIMES.PK]

* A very, very close runner up to the WTF crown this week is this one… Texas has been turning over blood samples from all newborns to the federal government in order to build a DNA database. Sure they said they are going to destroy the blood already collected, but if the blood sample is in the master database already, then whats the damn point of destroying the samples they came from? Invasion of privacy much? [TEXAS TRIBUNE] and [DSHS.TX]

* If you throw a riot and no one knows about it, does it count? There was a real riot in UC Berkley last Friday night, but nobody cared enough to cover it! [HUFFINGTON POST]

* A Danish study has shown temporarily stopping blood flow in the arm prevents damage in people having a heart attack. That’s very valuable information! I should get these directions tattooed on my arms for later. [BBC]

* The “you don’t deserve any privacy” Patriot Act was successfully renewed this week. To make it happen, the Republicans said they would filibuster everything if the Democrats didn’t go along and renew the Patriot Act as-is. It’s nice to see the two parties are working together at last! And by that I mean the Republicans pimp-slapping the consistently cowardly Democrats around like they always did before the election. [EFF]

* Scientists are closing in a giant cosmic secret… why do why do we gain weight as we age even though we eat less? You would think all that damn fiber would help grandpa stay slimmer! [NPR]

* Speaking of cosmic secrets, scientists this week have determined the general theory of relativity is wrong… because a spinning top told them so. Trippy. Maybe this week they will ask a Slinky for a second opinion. [SOFTPEDIA]

* A computer program from 1987 composes and performs better classical music than most humans do! So what was every composer’s response that saw this program in action? To ban the software engineer from the music industry and call for the computer to be destroyed! Why does this sound like an old Frankenstein movie? Use the woodwinds as torches! Hammer the trombones into pitchforks! Storm the castle of the monster! It must not be allowed to live! [MILLER-MCCUNE]

* The pentagon is finally going to allow women on submarines! Haven’t they heard the superstition that if a woman is on a boat it will sink? Waitaminute…. [CLTV]

* You will soon be able to power your home all year with a battery no bigger than a regular sized brick! Its not science fiction… it’s already done! And, of course, Google has one of their own. [TARANFX]

* This isn’t science fiction either, but I wish it was. The professor who went nucking futs at the University of Alabama may have created a “herpes bomb… in which a herpes-like virus spreads throughout the world, causing pregnant women to miscarry.” Yeah, it sounds silly at first, but the problem is, she’s smart enough to do it… and her colleagues think she actually made one, too. Completely psychotic and a brilliant bio-engineer. Oh yeah, this one needs to be put in solitary confinement fo-ever! [NYTIMES]

Off to enjoy my weekend (some more). Back Monday!