Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.
* UFOs are now showing up in China? You know times are tough when UFOs don’t even want to stay in the United States anymore! [DAILY MAIL]
* Speaking of China, things are about to get very ‘spensive for WalMart and a lot of toy companies. Apparently Chinese laborers are getting sick tired of working in crap conditions for almost nothing, and companies are being warned to… “brace for [the] end of cheap made-in-China era.” The good side of this is that this will also be the end of the era of new products breaking in the first year of ownership! [YAHOO]
* This looks like something that crawled out of my 1970s toybox and is really mad I left all the batteries in it to corrode. Apparently Mercedes-Benz has been working on a “armored personnel vehicle” concept for awhile, and a new headline says that Mercedes-Benz just unveiled this “Snazzy New Armored Patrol Vehicle” this last week to the public. “Snazzy”? You can’t use “snazzy” and “Mercedes-Benz” in the same sentence, dammit! What gansta’ rapper can come up with something hardcore that rhymes with “Snazzy”? [DEFENSE TECH] and [AUTOBLOG]
* The United States military just came out with a “green bullet” in the popular 5.56 cartridge. It does even more damage to living tissue than the previous 5.56, but it doesn’t harm the environment! Um… misplaced priorities much? [ARMY.MIL]
* Speaking of the military, did you know Aspartame was previously listed by the Pentagon as a “biochemical warfare agent”? Aspartame is also known as “NutraSweet” and “Canderel”. Now the company that owns and sells this “biochemical warfare agent” is changing the name again to “AminoSweet”. Damn! Last I heard, the Pentagon used real sugar in coffee and left the Aspartame for the front lines. And if that’s good enough for the Pentagon, it’s good enough for me! [HUFFINGTON POST]
* Scriptwriters can’t easily find a job in Hollywood anymore? Here’s a hint for all the poor, sad, unempoyed scriptwriters out there… QUIT REHASHING THE SAME CRAP I SAW ON TV IN THE 19-FRIGGIN’-80s AND TRY COMING UP WITH AN ORIGINAL IDEA YOU POOZERS!! That is all. [LA TIMES]
* Speaking of Hollywood, the next time somebody wants you to prove to them that the movie industry is full of lying snakes, show them this… Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix made almost $1 billion dollars, but the studio cooked their books to show that it is still almost $170 million in the red! What circle of hell to corrupt accountants wind up in? First? Fifth? [DEADLINE]
* And speaking of going in the red, Illinois, the state, is about to go under. Big time. The state owes over $5.01 billion, and it’s just adding to the amount every single second. So, ah, Oprah? Obama? John Cusack? Calista Flockhart? Denise Richards? Gary Shandling? Daryl Hannah? Billy Zane? Ludacris? Virginia Madsen? Frances McDormand? Gary Sinise? Harold Ramis? Michael Clarke Duncan? You’re all from Illinois, right? Soooo… what’chall waiting for? Help your home state out! [NY TIMES]
* In the “uh-oh” category, this little clip from the Wall Street Journal is fairly terrifying… “President Obama said earlier this year that the health-care bill that Congress passed three months ago is “essentially identical” to the Massachusetts universal coverage plan that then-Gov. Mitt Romney signed into law in 2006. No one but Mr. Romney disagrees. As events are now unfolding, the Massachusetts plan couldn’t be a more damning indictment of ObamaCare. The state’s universal health-care prototype is growing more dysfunctional by the day, which is the inevitable result of a health system dominated by politics.” Somebody needs to repeat this on one of the big networks. Soon. [WALL STREET JOURNAL]
* In the deep deep deep “uh oh” category, “NSA has issued a $100-million contract to defense contractor Raytheon to build a system dubbed “Perfect Citizen,” which will involve placing “sensors” at critical points in the computer networks of private and public organizations… an unnamed Raytheon employee describes the system as “Big Brother.”” OK. All you crackhead politicians out there asking for this damn system… show me ONE terrorist all this illegal surveillance of private citizens caught. JUST ONE! All this government surveillance isn’t good, it isn’t right, and it needs to be taken down and thrown out along with all the punk-ass politicians who approved it. [RAW STORY] and [WALL STREET JOURNAL] and [THE REGISTER]
* Democrats are demanding sales taxes in everything sold on the internet. Oh yeah. This is going to be popular. Way to bury yourselves, guys! [CNET]
* A handheld laser that can blind people and set fire to skin? Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! [DIGITAL TRENDS]
* So what can possibly go wrong with researchers finding a way to edit a person’s memories? In the history of bad bad bad bad ideas, this one takes the gold medal. The only good news I can see out of this is I can start a business called “Guaranteed Life”. It would be a “memory insurance” company, where I would backup a person’s memory and keep it secure for them in case their present memory gets wiped out. Call me Google! Call me Hollywood! [NY TIMES]
* You know the government is out of cash when it now has a $450 fee to “formally… renounce your U.S. citizenship.” [CNN]
* What does drowning really look like? Not like the movies! Here’s what to watch for… [MARIOVITTONE.COM]
* And finally, Kevin Costner has been secretly working on a high-tech way to clean up a large oil spill? For years? And now that tech is in the gulf? And it works? Kevin Costner is apparently the new Buckaroo Banzai!
That’s all I got this week. Back Monday!