Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.

* Do you remember the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark? At the beginning when Indiana Jones turned around to see a giant friggin’ hero-flattenin’ boulder slooooowly start to roll down towards him? There’s a lot of news articles like that this week…

• Meat prices are gonna’ go up to the highest they’ve been in a quarter century [BLOOMBERG]
• “Cotton Climbs to 140-Year High” [WALL STREET JOURNAL]
• A massive 50-state investigation “into the industry’s alleged use of faulty or fraudulent documents to complete tens of thousands of foreclosures” is starting [USA TODAY]
• And the banks of Ireland look to be a failin’ now! [SOCIALISTWORKER . ORG]

Not to worry! It’s nothing a bullwhip and a cocky smirk can’t solve! Come to think of it, a bullwhip and a cocky smirk tend to solve quite a few things. (I’ve heard)

* The rescue of the Chile miners went perfectly! And the trivia answer to the “who was the first one into the mine and the last one out of the mine” is…. Manuel Gonzalez! Manuel is also a former professional footballer who “vowed to stay until they were all evacuated” and his last act before getting out of the mine was “waving to the camera, bowing and then offering up a prayer”, then getting into the Phoenix capsule to GTFOutta there! Science rocks! [DAILYMAIL.CO.UK]

* Regrow your own lungs from scratch in a month? Seriously? Rat trials are underway already? Human trials in a few years? Social smoking to make a massive comeback? Go science!! Wait… [POPSCI.COM]

* Walking 9 miles a week saves your memory in old age? Well then driving over 100 miles a week should make me the smartest person in the world! Road Trip!! [BUSINESSWEEK]

* The 24 karat gold “What the HELL ARE YOU THINKING” trophy this week goes to Professor Borut Povse and the scientists in Slovenia who are training robots to learn our pain threshold “by punching humans and seeing if they cry”. The robot will stop “when the men cry mercy.” Seriously, somebody needs to keep an eye on Povse. “Dictator” and “robot army” are some of the kinder words I’m thinking of here. [NEWS.COM.AU] and [NEW SCIENTIST]

* So lemme get this straight… I buy a home waaaaayyy out of my price range, I can’t afford to make monthly payments on it, and when I fall behind for over six months I don’t get to keep it? Could Wall Street be right in saying this whole mortgage crisis really is the fault of the people in this “foreclosure fiasco”? Naaahhhh!! [REUTERS]

* And now a bit of serious news… Justin Stoner blew the whistle on his platoon for their rampant drug use, but the resulting probe found out that not only was his platoon a bunch of loser potheads, they took part in Afghan civilian killings, even “keeping body parts as war trophies.” His “fellow GIs beat him” for calling them on their activities, and now the “Army apparently wants to silence him.” What country is this again? Where’s the liberal cries of protest? Where’s the conservative outrage on this? On a related note, Stoner has a tattoo on his back that President Obama and congress need to have printed and hanging on their office wall… “What if I’m not the good guy. What if I’m the bad guy?” Exactly. [CNN]

* And now a bit of awesome news…. The horrible backstory: Scott and Jennifer Petkov have been mercilessly taunting seven year old Kathleen Edwards, who is dying of Huntington’s Disease, by hanging photos of her in front of their home and on Facebook with “her face becoming the center of a skull and crossbones”. The Petkovs have even made fun of Kathleen’s dead mother, who has already died of Huntington’s Disease, by putting up photos of her in the front of their home and on Facebook “wrapped in the arms of the grim reaper”. When asked why they were doing this, Jennifer Petkov said “for personal satisfaction… because it burns Rebecca Rose’s ass raw. It burns Rebecca Rose’s ass raw for me to make fun of her dead daughter.” (Rebecca Rose is the grandmother of Kathleen Edwards.) Scott and Jennifer Petkov also “painted their truck with tombstones and placed a coffin in the back of the truck… then parked it in front of the Rose family home.”   Fortunately, this story made the internet and was featured on several social sites. One of the social sites caught the attention of the local “Tree Town Toys” store owner, who then rallied the community (and all the internet sites he is a member of) for a massive show of support for little Kathleen Edward. Kathleen was soon picked up at her home and arrived to a red carpet welcome to a cheering crowd “in a stretch Hummer that read Team Kathleen… to an unlimited shopping spree at Tree Town Toys” where “she could pick out anything she wanted.” The Ann Arbor Fire Department was also there “to show their support” and a party with lots of cake followed. “$17,000 in donations have come in” as well as flowers and gifts from as far away as Japan and Pakistan. And as for the Petkovs? Nothing but apology after apology now. Good people do exist, and great things still happen. This is how it’s done. [MY FOX DETROIT]

That’s all I got. Back Monday!

** Actually upped on 10/17/10 for even more evil reasons all my own! Mu ha ha ha ha!!!!