Hefty’s latest product sounds like they’ve given up on ad agencies

Trivia : A long time ago, I used to work as the IT guy for some major advertising agencies in Dallas. I’m talking multiple Clio awards on the creative director’s shelf kind of ad agencies. I was the proverbial “fly on the wall” for the most part, just fixing the busted computers while the creative geniuses got into arguments with the account execs and project managers about visions, production deadlines and where to have lunch.

Some of the things the agencies came up with for a product were completely off the wall nuts. Some ideas would never get in-house approval. Some ideas were torn apart by a ruthless client. But overall, I would say 90% of the ideas the agencies came up with were groundbreaking. Amazing ideas that would make you wonder what exactly was in those lunch orders they had delivered.

So from my completely inexperienced “fly on the wall” perspective, it makes me sad to see products like this that actually make it all the way to the store shelves. Hefty trashbags in this particular case.

Allow me to present exhibit A…

Heftys Latest 1

Soooo the latest Hefty flagship product… “keeps your garbage in the dark”? Really? That’s the best tagline to put on the box? I mean, isn’t trash always in the dark?

Maybe the other side of the box has something better.

Heftys Latest 3

No. Seriously. You’re kidding. Please. “Hides Garbage And Spills Inside the Can?” Comparing a black trash bag to a white trash bag? Black trashbags are now “only from Hefty”? Just no. Hell no.

Here’s what I think. Somebody in the Hefty company said “Hey! I have a computer! I won a blue ribbon in 5th grade for my coat hanger diorama project! I will design our product packaging! We don’t need no stinking ad agency! Look! Look! I can do it! Look!”

Aaaaand this is the crap that made it out the door.

Heftys Latest 2

“Hides the mess. Hides the Garbage. Hides the Smell.”

Hefty? Get an ad agency. Or get your old ad agency back. Seriously. This is beyond pathetic.

UPDATE: That large tomato splat and debris on the floor was from the previous trashbag. And yes, I seem to have forgot the coupon at checkout. Observant!!

News stories the mainstream media missed : 02/19/11**

Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.

* One of my favorite things to see is a PR manager for a government agency running at top speed toward an employee who is speaking to a reporter! If you ever see that, you KNOW something is getting out that was never supposed to see the light of day! This week, a California port official was talking with a reporter and said a weapon of mass destruction was found somewhere in California, but not in San Diego. Then a PR manager ran up and said the interview was over and… wait, WHAT!?!?! [DAILYMAIL]

* Speaking of things that will never be spoken of again, apparently the torture-masters in Egypt were trained by the FBI. And unless there’s another agency named FBI somewhere else in the world, that means the United States was responsible for teaching a tyrant how to properly oppress his people. You know, at this point, you might as well vote a straight Sith ticket. Know what I’m talking about here? [TELEGRAPH.CO.UK]

* So there’s apparently a jobless-homeless HEY WE’RE BROKE kind of thing going on in the United States nowadays. To add sprinkles to this, companies that are hiring now have a policy to only hire those people that are currently employed! Apparently those not employed really don’t need jobs, just those that have jobs need jobs. It kind of makes sense after you vigorously bang your head on a solid object for awhile. [YAHOO]

* In another sign of the times, a congressman is actually trying to pass a law where it will be legal to “chemically dissolve [a] body, keep the powdery residue and pour the liquefied remains down the drain” for the deceased. I’m thinking he has a serious zombie phobia he’s trying to nip in the bud. That or he’s needing to up his dosage a gram or two. [FOX NEWS]

* The XM25 Punisher is the newest military high-tech weapon of choice. It’s terrifying. Completely unsafe at close quarters. Ludicrously expensive. Illegal as hell for private citizens to own. And daaaaaaaamn does it work well! [ARMY TIMES]

* Memory loss… wait… I think… no, wait, I just had it… ah! Memory loss can be caused by over the counter drugs! Yeah! That’s the ticket! [HUFFINGTON POST]

* And finally, coffee is about to become much much more expensive. If the price of coffee is going up, are donuts far behind? DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!! [CNN]

** Actually published Monday because my new Kindle ate up my weekend. Damn you Amazon!!!

Apple’s iPad in Apple’s iPad case will not fit on Apple’s iPad keyboard dock

TIL : Apple’s iPad in Apple’s iPad case will not fit on Apple’s iPad keyboard dock.

Apple iPad Case-Keyboard Fit

How could the Q&A engineers at Apple have missed something so damn obvious?

The iPad in the case sits far enough down on the keyboard dock connector that the iPad is supported, but it’s not far enough down to make contact with the keyboard and allow a sync!

The solution? Either make the iPad dock connectors about 1/2″ higher or cut a slight groove on the base of the iPad dock so that the case of the iPad would “fall” into that groove.

As is, you have to take the iPad out of the Apple iPad case to use Apple’s iPad keyboard dock.

For a massively successful company, they sure make a lot of bonehead design mistakes like this.

RT Tuesdays : 02/15/11

Every Tuesday I re-post all zee tweets that didn’t originate from this blog just to keep everything in sync.

This week on Twitter…

  • My dog’s reaction to me falling off a ladder: OH! ARE YOU OK MASTER? KISS! KISS! — My cat’s reaction: Well that was more stupid than usual. (February 14th via Twitter for iPhone)
  • Tonight’s insomnia thought: We’re eventually going to need to find a way to stop the black hole in the galaxy’s center from squishing us. (2:38 AM Feb 13th via Twitter for iPhone)
  • I dreamt I got a fairy godfather. He granted me anything I wanted as long as I gave him 70% as a “donation” to the local fairy union. (7:52 PM Feb 12th via Twitter for iPhone)
  • @billamend My system: all illustrated and “I have a story about that” on bookshelf. Unread go in box-of-holding. Kindle all text only books. (6:14 PM Feb 12th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to billamend)
  • Random revelation at a “Ofrendas del Corazon” charity auction I’m attending: It’s better to invest in the future than waste on the past. (6:21 PM Feb 11th via Twitter for iPhone)
  • More useless revelations. “Hosni Mubarak” is an anagram for “Oh I Snub Karma” AND “An amok hubris”. Explains absolutely nothing #Egypt. (8:35 PM Feb 10th via web)
  • Just had a completely useless revelation. “Hosni Mubarak” is an anagram for “Oh I Snub Karma”. (8:27 PM Feb 10th via web)
Shake weight

Shake weight

Monday Morning Music : 02/14/11

Every Monday I like to post some music to start the week off on the right foot.

This week… something to blast through rough weekends and push back against some relentless ugly.

P!nk – Raise Your Glass

Bob Sinclar – Love Generation

The Saturdays – Higher

Sonora Santanera – El Ladron

Digital Underground – Doowutchyalike

…and finally, Katrina & The Waves – Walking On Sunshine

Perhaps this is an example of why the Post Office is bleeding money

I think I have a clue on why the US Post Office is bleeding money.

I won a very hard to find item off Ebay on the 8th. The seller only uses USPS, so I chose “Priority Mail” 2 day for shipping. The item was sent out on the 9th from Maryland.

Today, looking at the USPS “Track and Confirm” page, I saw my package was “Processed through Sort Facility, February 10, 2011, 8:25 pm, ANAHEIM, CA 92899”

The package went from the edge of the East coast all the way to the edge of the West coast to get to me in the deep deeeeep South Texas valley.

Somebody at the USPS needs to hire a logistics ninja away from UPS or FedEx. This coast-to-coast-to-coast bouncing is beyond ridiculous.