Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.

* One of my favorite things to see is a PR manager for a government agency running at top speed toward an employee who is speaking to a reporter! If you ever see that, you KNOW something is getting out that was never supposed to see the light of day! This week, a California port official was talking with a reporter and said a weapon of mass destruction was found somewhere in California, but not in San Diego. Then a PR manager ran up and said the interview was over and… wait, WHAT!?!?! [DAILYMAIL]

* Speaking of things that will never be spoken of again, apparently the torture-masters in Egypt were trained by the FBI. And unless there’s another agency named FBI somewhere else in the world, that means the United States was responsible for teaching a tyrant how to properly oppress his people. You know, at this point, you might as well vote a straight Sith ticket. Know what I’m talking about here? [TELEGRAPH.CO.UK]

* So there’s apparently a jobless-homeless HEY WE’RE BROKE kind of thing going on in the United States nowadays. To add sprinkles to this, companies that are hiring now have a policy to only hire those people that are currently employed! Apparently those not employed really don’t need jobs, just those that have jobs need jobs. It kind of makes sense after you vigorously bang your head on a solid object for awhile. [YAHOO]

* In another sign of the times, a congressman is actually trying to pass a law where it will be legal to “chemically dissolve [a] body, keep the powdery residue and pour the liquefied remains down the drain” for the deceased. I’m thinking he has a serious zombie phobia he’s trying to nip in the bud. That or he’s needing to up his dosage a gram or two. [FOX NEWS]

* The XM25 Punisher is the newest military high-tech weapon of choice. It’s terrifying. Completely unsafe at close quarters. Ludicrously expensive. Illegal as hell for private citizens to own. And daaaaaaaamn does it work well! [ARMY TIMES]

* Memory loss… wait… I think… no, wait, I just had it… ah! Memory loss can be caused by over the counter drugs! Yeah! That’s the ticket! [HUFFINGTON POST]

* And finally, coffee is about to become much much more expensive. If the price of coffee is going up, are donuts far behind? DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!! [CNN]

** Actually published Monday because my new Kindle ate up my weekend. Damn you Amazon!!!