{"id":3734,"date":"2012-03-23T23:04:34","date_gmt":"2012-03-24T05:04:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/royceeddington.com\/?p=3734"},"modified":"2012-03-23T23:05:39","modified_gmt":"2012-03-24T05:05:39","slug":"a-south-texas-gift-shop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/?p=3734","title":{"rendered":"A South Texas Gift Shop"},"content":{"rendered":"

This last week I’ve been on the road, traveling all over deeeeeep south Texas as part of my job.<\/p>\n

Earlier today I pulled into a small off-the-highway gas station to refuel the company car. Nobody was around, so I figured I would go into the store itself and grab a coffee, some water, a protein bar, and maybe an energy drink for the rest of the trip back home.<\/p>\n

The store was charming. The staff said “howdy” as I walked in, the floors and tables were spotless, and the snack section didn’t have any dust on the products.<\/p>\n

So far, so good!<\/p>\n

But as I was walking out, I saw this in the “gift” section.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"South<\/a>

South Texas Gift Shop 01<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Um…. ok. This is a… cowboy. And he’s… on his back. And he’s… ah… well… he’s…<\/p>\n

OK, I have no idea. None. Zero. Clueless Maximus.<\/p>\n

The more I looked directly at it, the more disturbing it became. I did see a little tag on his chest and I moved closer to see if it had something to explain the intention of this… pose.<\/p>\n

“Add charm and delight to your home with this timeless keepsake. This premium collectible reminds us that imagination is limitless and dreams are forever. Leaving a vibrant reminder that life is what you make of it with the rich imaginative palette of our creative spirits.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"South<\/a>

South Texas Gift Shop 02<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ah.<\/p>\n

But wait. It gets worse. Much, much, much worse.<\/p>\n

On a adjacent table in the gift area was this…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"South<\/a>

South Texas Gift Shop 03<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

A horse.<\/p>\n

The cowboy. Had. A matching. Horse.<\/p>\n

I was laughing for about 20 minutes after I left and was back on the highway. And to this moment, I still have no idea what those… things were designed for.<\/p>\n

For the record, I don’t ever want to know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This last week I’ve been on the road, traveling all over deeeeeep south Texas as part of my job. Earlier today I pulled into a small off-the-highway gas station to refuel the company car. Nobody was around, so I figured … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comic-humor"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Pfyw-Ye","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3734","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3734"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3734\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3738,"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3734\/revisions\/3738"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3734"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3734"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/royceeddington.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3734"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}