News stories the mainstream media missed : 09/18/10

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Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.

* When McDonald’s said they have specialty coffees, I didn’t think they meant maggots were in the machines that make them! But wait! It gets better! “The regional manager was contacted and her response was the machine must be kept on and we must continue to sell our specialty coffees.” The McDonald’s jingle needs to be updated to Ba! Da! Bah! Ba! Baaaaaarf!! [LANSING STATE JOURNAL]

* Next on “CSI : Detectives Gone Wild”… a man found dead with his hands tied behind his back and a bag over his head in the restroom of the LA Airport… “apparently committed suicide.” Wait, what? “The man apparently placed a plastic grocery bag over his head and tightened a jacket around his neck, then secured his hands behind his back using plastic zip ties… “so he couldn’t back out” of the attempt, said Los Angeles police Detective Mark Morgan”. Whoooooo are you? Who Who? Who Who? Iiiiiii really ain’t buying it. [YAHOO]

* In the middle of some hot and heavy court prosecutin’ action, Calumet County District Attorney Ken Kratz sent a domestic abuse victim “sexually suggestive text messages”. Kratz was apparently somewhat bored by the fact he was prosecutin’ the victim’s ex-boyfriend on charges he nearly choked the victim to death, and decided to send her “a series of respectful messages” to pass the time. So let’s see what kind of respectful messages he sent…

  • R U “the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA?”
  • U R A ‘tall, young hot nymph’!
  • ‘You are beautiful and would make a great young partner one day’!
  • “I would want you to be so hot and treat me so well that you’d be THE woman! R U that good?”

Oh yeah. Very respectful. And perfect timing! I wonder if he thinks it would be OK for doctors to sell cigarettes in the cancer ward? Or firefighters to give free matches to every arson victim? A DA hitting on a domestic abuse victim of a case he’s prosecuting? That’s a whole new breed of heartless! [AP]

* Remember when the “old” broadcast TV went away a few years ago? Ever wonder what happened to all those reserved frequencies? Well, it looks like the big tech juggernauts are moving in fast to make it… broadcast WiFi. WiFi connections with the old-TV city-wide broadcast signal strength? Hoo-ah!! Bring it on!! [BLOOMBERG]

* Instead of a cool headline like “Jupiter is careening towards Earth! Everybody Panic!!”, the science blogs go all fact-based and say stuff like “Jupiter will pass 368 million miles from Earth late Monday, its closest approach since 1963.” Fine! If you want to be all factual about it! [PHYSORG]

* Speaking of factual, apparently everybody’s taxes will go up if the Bush’s tax cuts aren’t re-enacted. D’oh! [YAHOO] and [USA TODAY]

* And finally, if I ever get to be a multimillionaire, have mansions on three different continents, own an art collection worth more than most companies’ annual incomes, and have fans that still pay $50 a ticket to fill up a stadium to hear me sing (BWA HA HA!!), I sure as HELL won’t start taking drugs and pass out in a pot haze in public so many times I eventually wind up in jail for it!! George Michael, you ungrateful bastich. Take your own advice! “Better watch out. Baby who’s that? Don’t look now, there’s a monkey on your back… why can’t you do it? Why can’t you set that monkey free?” [YAHOO]

…and, of course, the obligatory video….



That’s all I got this week. Back Monday!

Recall : Off Cycle II Hardcore

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The FDA must have had a busy week, as they just announced another recall of another ‘roid flavored product!

A product called “Off Cycle II” is about to be completely pulled as the FDA found it “contains 3,17-keto-etiochol-triene (a synonym for ATD an aromatase inhibitor)”

Looking in the FDA’s copy & paste file, it says ATD/’roids are not good for you because you get a random selection of “decreased rate of bone maturation and growth, decreased sperm production, infertility, aggressive behavior, adrenal insufficiency, kidney failure, and liver dysfunction.” All that isn’t really a good trade just to have some 21 inch guns and abs you can polish steel with.

What’s funky about this recall is that “Off Cycle II Hardcore had been sold nationwide but was discontinued by Fizogen in July of 2009. The product was sold in bottles containing ninety (90) capsules and was manufactured exclusively for Fizogen Precision Technologies. Although the product was discontinued over a year ago, it has come to the attention of Fizogen that some online retailers may still have remaining inventory that they are offering for sale.”

Is there such a thing as “fresh” steroids? Or steroids with an expiration date?

Anyhow, here’s the link to the official FDA recall notice.

Recall : Assorted AROM-X and Decavol “Natural Testosterone Boosters and Libido Enhancers”

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The FDA just announced they’re going to pull “dietary supplement products sold under the names Arom-X, Arom-X UTT, Arom-XL, 4-AD, and Decavol, which are marketed as Natural Testosterone Boosters and Libido Enhancers.”

The FDA found out that all these products apparently contain “1,4,6 etioallocholan-dione, also known as ATD, an aromatase inhibitor.”

So in dah vhordz uf Ahnold, ZHEY ARRRR FHULL OV STHEROIDS!! GHET TO DA CHOPPA!! AAAAAAA!!!

OK, seriously, the FDA says taking this stuff will get you totally wicked shredded isn’t good for you because you get a random selection of “decreased rate of bone maturation and growth, decreased sperm production, infertility, aggressive behavior, adrenal insufficiency, kidney failure, and liver dysfunction.” However, “Advanced Muscle Science has not received any adverse event reports nor are they aware of any adverse events associated with the use of these products.”

So buy them now if you see them toss them if you got ’em!

Here’s the link to the FDA recall notice.

The Neon Trees “Animal” video looks familiar

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To paraphrase a Samuel Jackson line from “Snakes on a Plane”, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these mother******g musicians ripping off my mother******g childhood!”

Shakira robbing Fozzie bear was bad enough, but now I see a band called Neon Trees has a video called “Animal”…



Hmmmm. That video looks familiar.

Museum patrons minding their own business? Suddenly getting gassed by a colorful smoke? Everyone falls down unconscious? Vandals enter the museum and deface/repaint the artwork? But they spare the one painting the very colorful leader likes?

Holy ripoff, Batman! That’s all from the 1989 movie… Batman! The one with Michael Keaton!

I found a clip of the movie that shows the Joker and his henchmen entering the museum right after the gas attack and you can see the whole 1989 Batman clip on YouTube that I’m talking about by clicking here. (Sorry about not putting the video here directly, but embedding of that video was disabled.)

What is really depressing is that Tyler Glenn, the lead singer of Neon Trees, is 27 years old. When this Batman movie came out in 1989, he was all of 6 years old.

The good news is that I’m finally old enough to recognize a ripoff when I see one! The bad news is that I’m finally old enough to recognize a ripoff when I see one!

I think I’m gonna’ go get me a Whataburger and a cold beer now before I start yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

Classy bowling alley marquee ad [PHOTO]

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I saw this while driving around last week…

Bowling Alley Marquee Ad


Obviously I still have some growing up to do.

Kung-Fu BMW [PHOTO]

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I saw this in a BMW dealer’s parking lot recently…

Kung Fu BMW


Kung-Fu BMW. Whoa.

Vampire zombie ghost clown? Seriously? [PHOTO]

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This ought to strike terror into the hearts of just about everybody for Halloween. Allow me to present… Vampire zombie ghost clown.

Vampire Ghost Zombie Clown


Sooo… seltzer spritzer bottle filled with holy water? Rubber wooden stake? A shotgun with little red noses as buckshot? Batarang upside the head? An exorcism with the “Circus!” theme playing in the background?



The power of the big top compels you!! The power of the big top compels you!!

50 free prints from Snapfish with new HP Officejet 4500s

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I was installing a new HP Officejet 4500 at a branch store location earlier this week when I found this little card in the middle of the instructions and warranty papers…

HP Officejet 4500 02 photo


Nice bonus!

I looked on the outside of the box and didn’t see any mention of this bonus being inside, though.

HP Officejet 4500 01 photo


A “50 free prints” card wouldn’t have made me choose one printer over another, but it would have been nice to know this coupon was part of the package.

iPad + 1 gallon Ziploc bag = emergency waterproof case! [PHOTOS]

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I was catching up on some of my magazine reading when I saw this ad in the latest edition of Southern Boating (September 2010 page 33)…

iPad Case Ad


It says… “Rain, Spray, Waves, and iPad. While you want your iPad with you at the helm, water, and particularly salt water, has been known to destroy electronics right before your eyes. A small investment, however, may prevent this. The Trendy Digital iPad Case ($20) is, in effect, a large, heavy plastic bag. The iPad is fully operable when sealed inside. Yes, it makes the music a bit hard to hear, but even a direct wave will not send your investment to Davy Jones’ Locker if you tie it down using the included strap.”

Hmm. I thought that was a pretty good product idea. Something to keep the iPad safe from water and let you take it with you to an area you know it will be constantly “splashed” on. But as soon as I read the “large, heavy plastic bag” part of the ad, I wondered if the iPad would fit in a Ziploc bag, and would an iPad be safe from water splashes in a giant Ziploc bag?

There’s only one way to find out!

Fortunately I found a few of the giant Ziploc bags already in the home pantry…

iPad + Ziploc 01


…and the one gallon size at that!

iPad + Ziploc 02


I was a little worried about the fit, but after opening the Ziploc bag, the iPad (with the Apple case still attached) dropped right in and had plenty of space left!

iPad + Ziploc 03


I flipped the iPad around so the Ziploc logo would be on the other side of the screen, and then sealed the top of the bag.

iPad + Ziploc 04


The fit wasn’t snug, and there was a lot of Ziploc left on the left and right sides of the iPad, but I was able to swipe to unlock the iPad, and all the applications I launched responded to my touch just fine.

iPad + Ziploc 05


Typing wasn’t any problem either! The iPad registered every single touch just fine through the Ziploc, whether the bag was pulled tight or left loose.

iPad + Ziploc 06


iPad + Ziploc 07


So far, so good! The iPad still functions when sealed in a one gallon Ziploc bag.

Now for the “splash” part!

After triple checking I had sealed the top of the Ziploc bag, I decided to go all out, and put the iPad in the middle of the sink and moved it slowly in every possible direction with the faucet on full blast. I did this for 5 minutes.

iPad + Ziploc 08


The Ziploc held on tight to the iPad!

After moving it around and seeing no damage, I decided to leave the iPad flat in the sink and let the water hit it straight on. (I did incline the iPad about 10 degrees so that the water would drain and the Ziploc/iPad would not become submerged.) I did this for one minute.

Little did I know this whole time that the water faucet was trying to communicate with me!

iPad + Ziploc 09


Fortunately, “Tcuxuc77/7 . Ruhhh” was just a random result of the water on full blast hitting the iPad and pressing on the keys. (I hoped!)

I stopped the water after a minute, pulled the iPad out of the sink, dried the exterior of the Ziploc, and opened the top.

iPad + Ziploc 10


Dry as a bone! Wonderful! It worked!

And just to make sure the iPad typing was OK, I pressed a few keys to see what would happen.

iPad + Ziploc 11


Success! No problems at all!

I figure if the Ziploc bag can withstand a full-blast from a sink’s water spigot, then it shouldn’t have any problems keeping the iPad safe in light spray or the occasional “hi there!” ocean wave smack.

I wouldn’t want to subject the Ziploc bag to too much stress, though, as it is only held closed by that little click-seal on top. I wasn’t brave enough to completely submerge the Ziploc with the iPad in it either, so I have no idea if this would keep the iPad safe in a 100% underwater environment. Also worth mentioning (again) is that the Ziploc bag allows sufficient water pressure to register as input.

But overall, it’s good to know that a one gallon Ziploc bag (retail price about .12 cents each), does seem to work as an emergency waterproof iPad case!

Monday Morning Music : 09/13/10

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Every Monday I like to post some music to start the week off on the right foot.

This week….

Robert Ramirez – Sick of love



The Killers – Spaceman



Nelly Furtado – Say It Right



Bon Jovi – Bad Medicine



…and finally, Laura Branigan – Gloria