American Gods by Neil Gaiman : Mini Book Review

American Gods

American Gods

10 words or less : Overrated. Unbelievable situations. Good sections, but twists visible miles away.

Long version : I need to preface this by saying I am not a fan of deep-end fantasy books. Magic, enchanted objects, and out-of-the-butt mystic speak?

No.

Characters who are supposed to be gods relating to humans with the equivalent of “Oi m boyo! C’mere and have a beer!”?

Hell no.

Having said that, I picked up American Gods by Neil Gaman based on the multiple four and five star reviews on Amazon as well as critical praise on the jacket cover. General fiction is fine with me, so I thought I would give this book a try.

The book is about the “American Gods”… gods that were brought over to America by the immigrants who believed in them. As the people who believed in these gods blended into America’s culture (or flat out died), the transplanted gods withered and turned mortal-ish.

Que Joan Osborne.

Anyhow, some “new” gods eventually appear on the scene, and they were (off the top of my head) the god of computers, credit cards, TV, media and “Mr. World”.

Wait! It gets better!

The “new” gods are tired of the old gods hanging around taking their mojo. So a “storm is coming”… as every single character says over and over and over and over.

The main hero, Shadow, is the chosen one. He has a hobag of a woman who keeps showing up for him a lot like Jack Goodman did for David in the movie American Werewolf in London. Except this character is played seriously.

On a side note – Shadow. Who the hell names their kid Shadow?

Anyhow, fantasy ensues. A few plot twists and pages and pages later, “the storm is here”.

Not to ruin anything, but the book didn’t have Mohamed or Jesus in it. Every other god with a popular identity shows up throughout the book, and most get to fight in the big finale, so where were the top two representatives of the current religions? If the god of computers can be a card carrying member of the almighty god club, where the hell were the big players in this book? Where was THE big capital-G God in all this? If gods exist just because people believe in them, shouldn’t the capital-G God, Jesus and Mohamed have been in this book putting the smack down?

See, stuff like this is why I can’t read these kind of books.

The book has the main character travel through America as part of him finding himself and his allies, but you’ll get more “real” America from Alton Brown’s road trip series.

It was entertaining in sections, and the writing style flowed fairly well. A few chapters were really imaginative, but most of the chapters were tedious and overly detailed. I see the author was going for a slow buildup over the 600 plus pages of the book, but I could see the “twist(s)” coming five chapters away. Even in the dénouement.

I recommend reading the first few paragraphs of the Wikipedia page on “American Gods” that summarize the book to see if it’s for you. American Gods won the Hugo and Nebula awards (among many other sci-fi specific writing awards), but it was nothing more than moderately entertaining summer-like reading for me.

Three out of five stars.

News stories the mainstream media missed 09/26/09

Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.

* Dannon to reimburse customers for misleading advertising. Turns out statements in its marketing and advertising materials for Activia, Activia Light, DanActive and DanActive Light were deceptive. As in completely made up. Ain’t the truth a pain in the ass? [FOOD BUSINESS NEWS]

* Mandatory H1N1 (swine flu) vaccine for the military are imminent. Oh, good. Because on the off chance something is wrong with the untested and very-rushed to production flu vaccine, we want to infect those with the automatic weapons and heavy artillery first. [US DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE / MILITARY HEALTH SYSTEM]

* FDA issues strong warning about those “fallen and I can’t get up” lifeline pendant buttons. Turns out they may be a choking hazard if they get caught on something. If only there was… some way to call… for help… when that… happens! [FDA]

* Google approved sub-group now shows you how to completely delete and remove all of your personal data from…. everything Google. Looks like they are really standing behind their “don’t be evil” mantra! But couldn’t they still have a backup copy somewhere? The details are all in the FAQ. [GOOGLE / DATALIBERATION.ORG]

* The french want bold printed notices on all photoshopped images in print advertising stating they have been digitally enhanced. Finally! I seriously think this is long overdue! The only problem I see is that advertising agencies are about to get a big kick in the nards on this one. [TELEGRAPH.CO.UK]

* Al Gore has just gotten a $529 million U.S. government loan to help build a hybrid sports car in Finland that will sell for about $89,000. Clever, manbearpig. Very clever. [WALL STREET JOURNAL]

* USA Network has announced the departure of star Vincent D’Onofrio (Robert Goren), Kathryn Erbe (Alex Eames) and Eric Bogosian (Danny Ross) from Law and Order : Criminal Intent. You know. The main stars. Julianne Nicholson is also out for good measure. Everybody got killed at once? I’m not buying it. Someone get CSI on this.  [THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER]

G.I. Joe figure in disguise

I was at the local WalMart a few days ago to get some toys for my nephew when I saw this.

G.I. Joe figure in disguise

G.I. Joe figure in disguise

You just gotta love WalMart. A little re-tape and it’s good to go!

Unless, of course, Hasbro did this on purpose. It does say “intelligence officer” on the box.

The Life of Pi by Yann Martel : mini book review

10 words or less : Incredible. Fun and entertaining. A very moving and symbolic story.

Life Of Pi Book

Life Of Pi Book

Long version :  The Life of Pi by Yann Martel is a wonderful read. It’s the kind of book that will raise the bar on the kind of material you will want to read afterward. It’s a relatively short book, around 300 pages, but it works on so many levels… both as a superficial “look-no-deeper” story and as a very, very symbolic multi-layer opus.

The top-layer story is basically about a shipwrecked boy who is stuck on a lifeboat for 227 days in the Pacific Ocean with a tiger, hyena, zebra, and an orangutan. The pacing is so well structured you will be halfway through the book before you know it.

The Life of Pi won the Man Booker Prize for Fiction, the South African Boeke Prize, the Le combat des livres reading competition, CBC Radio’s Canada Reads, and the Hugh MacLennan Prize for Fiction. It won all these awards even though it was only the second book from the author at the time.

There’s almost 2,000 reviews for it on Amazon.com at this time, and even a new deluxe illustrated version that I’m going to have to get for the bookshelf. Be careful on Amazon, though. Many people posted the entire story in their review, which ruins the thrill of reading the book for the first time.

Supposedly Ang Lee is going to make a movie about the book for release in 2011. I’m not sure he can pull it off, but I’ll be in line to see it on the big screen.

Five out of five stars.

Dark Blue Rain Clouds

Dark ocean-blue clouds rolled in this week. It’s wonderful to finally have the temperature drop below 90.

Dark Blue Rain Clouds

Dark Blue Rain Clouds

Moving Clouds

A few clouds moving in before the big storms hit.

Moving Clouds

Moving Clouds

World Boxing Association’s heavyweight division fight

Nikolay Valuev, a Russian heavyweight boxer, and David Haye, a British heavyweight boxer, are going to go at it for the World Boxing Association title on November 7th in Germany.

According to Nikolay’s Wikipedia page, his total number of fights is currently 52. Of those, 50 were wins, 34 by KO, 1 no contest, and only 1 loss.

According to David’s Wikipedia page
, his total number of fights is currently 23. Of those, 22 were wins, 21 by KO, and only 1 loss.

David Haye is 6′ 3″ tall.

Nikolay Valuev is 7′ 2″.

World Boxing Association Title Bout for Nov. 7

World Boxing Association Title Bout for Nov. 7

Oh yeah. I gotta see this one.

And, uh, David? You might want to pack an axe. Just sayin’.

Michael Moore’s “Capitalism: A Love Story”

I just saw a quote from Michael Moore’s site about his new movie “Capitalism: A Love Story”

“…the ‘love’ refers to how the wealthy love their money, except this has a new twist: They not only love their money now, they love our money. And they want our money.”

Right.

Sooooo Mike. Quick question. You planning on giving away the tickets to see your movie?

Canned. Whole. Chicken.

So there I was, minding my business at the local HEB (that’s a big Texas supermarket chain for you folks up North) when I saw this in the canned meat isle.

Sweet Sues Canned Whole Chicken

Sweet Sue's Canned Whole Chicken

Sweet Sue’s Canned Whole Chicken.

Seriously? There’s a need?

Flavored cigarettes are now illegal

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced, effective today, a “ban on cigarettes with flavors characterizing fruit, candy, or clove.”

It’s good to know that the world is finally calm and quiet enough for the US government to focus on minutiae like this!

The gist of the law is that you can still have flavored cigarettes in your possession, but you can’t sell or buy them. Go figure.

The official FDA press release goes on to say “the ban, authorized by the new Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act, is part of a national effort by the FDA to reduce smoking in America.”

To paraphrase a popular quote… That oughta do it. Thanks very much, FDA.

Cloves and flavored cigarettes are fringe smokes at best. The popular cigarettes? Offhand I would say Marlboro, Camel, Lucky Strike, and Winston. Those are the ones I see moving at gas stations and convenience stores. If the government really wanted to “reduce smoking in America”, why didn’t they target the cigarettes that are actually popular? I would think the smoking level would drastically plummet in America if you banned the top 5 sellers. You would have a massive group of really unhappy, cranky, and twitchy voters to answer to, though.

Ah… I think I answered my own question.

My favorite quote in the FDA’s press release is this one… “”Flavored cigarettes attract and allure kids into lifetime addiction.”

So the real reason for this ban is to remove the “attractiveness” of a gateway product that leads to an addiction. Right. Sooooo why not ban other “gateway” drugs while we’re at it?

Alcoholism still kills a lot of people. So how about banning wine coolers? Mike’s Hard Lemonade? Anything that’s served with a foofy little umbrella in it? Shouldn’t the government be working on this as well if it is really concerned about our health? After all, Time magazine said alcoholism is now a global problem.

By the same logic, removing appetizers on restaurant menus could prevent food addiction. Removing playing cards could stop gambling addiction. Removing caffeinated colas could prevent adrenaline addiction. And if you really wanted to make a massive change, removing cars from highways could prevent a nationwide oil addiction.

A bit far? Yeah. But the point I’m trying to make is that simply removing a gateway drug doesn’t get rid of the core problem. It just moves the location of the gateway.

Now that the cloves are banned, smokers will start with milds or mentols. If you banned wine coolers, something like Keystone Light would take it’s place as the gateway. The definition of what is or is not a gateway to an addiction is amorphous at best. And, ultimately, who is to decide what addictions warrant government intervention?

The real solution to this problem is to make smoking a social stigmata, stop subsidizing tobacco companies with taxpayer money, and heavily fine the parents of underage kids who are smoking.

And, for the record, I think anything in excess is bad for you. Even government.