Caffeinated alcoholic beverages to me are something of an oxymoron. Like “jumbo shrimp”. “Seriously joking”. “Taped live”. And “working vacation”.

After today, though, I feel confident in predicting a sudden rush of caffeinated alcoholic beverage purchases. That’s because the FDA today “notified nearly 30 manufacturers of caffeinated alcoholic beverages that it intends to look into the safety and legality of their products.”

In other words, you’re in range now. Smile when you see the flash.

The logic for the FDA’s targeting of caffeinated alcoholic beverages is explained in the press release…

“Under the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act, a substance added intentionally to food (such as caffeine in alcoholic beverages) is deemed “unsafe” and is unlawful unless its particular use has been approved by FDA regulation, the substance is subject to a prior sanction, or the substance is Generally Recognized As Safe (GRAS).  FDA has not approved the use of caffeine in alcoholic beverages and thus such beverages can be lawfully marketed only if their use is subject to a prior sanction or is GRAS.  For a substance to be GRAS, there must be evidence of its safety at the levels used and a basis to conclude that this evidence is generally known and accepted by qualified experts.”

Soooo…. flavored alcoholic beverages might also be targeted under this interpretation, right? Or anything not specifically OKed by the FDA?

The press release also spells out that the FDA isn’t going to be messing around with the preliminaries this time out.

“The FDA requested that, within 30 days, the companies produce evidence of their rationale, with supporting data and information, for concluding that the use of caffeine in their product is GRAS or prior sanctioned.  FDA’s letter informed each company that if FDA determines that the use of caffeine in the firm’s alcoholic beverages is not GRAS or prior sanctioned, FDA will take appropriate action to ensure that the products are removed from the marketplace.”

And who got a copy of the FDA’s nastygram?

Buy ’em now if you want ’em.

Here’s the link to the FDA notification here.

Little shards of stainless steel aren’t too good for your bloodstream the last time I checked.

This voluntary recall from Hospira is for “85 lots of Liposyn II 10%, Liposyn II 20%, Liposyn III 10%, Liposyn III 20%, Liposyn III 30% and 73 lots of Propofol Injectable Emulsion 1% products that begin with the lot numbers 79 and 80… The affected lots were distributed between July 2009 and October 2009, and no other lots are affected by this recall.”

The reason for this recall is that… “some of the containers may contain particulate matter. The source of the particulate matter has been identified as stainless steel equipment used in the manufacturing process.”

In the list of things this particulate matter might do to you is “…potentially act as emboli and impede blood flow.  Particulates may also cause mechanical damage to the body and may escalate damage through the Systemic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (SIRS).  Restriction in blood supply to tissues could lead to stroke, respiratory failure, kidney failure, liver failure, heart attack and/or death.”

You know. The usual side effects.

Fortunately nobody has been hurt by this, and Hospira is asking that “anyone with an existing inventory should quarantine the product immediately and call Stericycle at 1-866-654-0725 to arrange for the return of these products. For medical inquiries, please contact Hospira Medical Communications at 1-800-615-0187 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. CST, Monday through Friday.”

Here’s the link to the official FDA recall.

When you make a product that’s designed to clamp down on the aorta and drip solution to stop the heart during cardiopulmonary bypass procedures, you really should have that product go through some ruthlessly insane levels of quality control. Then test the product again, retest it, and then test it some more.

Well, today’s FDA recall is for a product that does just that. The official CLASS 1 recall is for “Edwards Lifesciences CardioVations EndoClamp Aortic Catheter ” and is specifically targeting “CardioVations EndoClamp Aortic Catheter, Model Numbers EC1001 and EC65”.

The problem? According to the recall notice, “The balloon catheters may spontaneously rupture during surgery.”

Oh yeah. That’s FUBAR. Big time.

The recall was started by the company on September 24th, but the FDA just issued the public notice today.

The CLASS 1 bit on FDA releases is “the most serious type of recall and involve situations in which there is a reasonable probability that use of these products will cause serious adverse health consequences or death.”

If you have CardioVations EndoClamp Aortic Catheter Model Numbers EC1001 and/or EC65, you can “contact the company’s Customer Service Organization at 1-800-424-3278, Monday through Friday, 6:00 a.m. – 4:30 p.m., Pacific Time.”

Here’s the link to the official FDA recall.

Jelly Belly announced today that they are voluntarily recalling the… “7.5-ounce cylinder-style packages of 49 Flavors Jelly Belly jelly beans because the package is incorrectly labeled. The mislabeled packages failed to list peanut butter and peanut flour in the ingredient statement.”

Wait… they use peanuts and peanut butter to make jellybeans? Seriously?

The recall says… “The Jelly Belly 49 Flavors cylinder packages were… packaged in a clear 7.5-ounce acetate cylinder with white label on the bottom of the package with lot codes 090925, 090928, 090929 or 091001. UPC code 071567989398”

Here’s the link to the official FDA recall.

OK, right up front, who the hell uses something called “Stiff Nights”? If someone is actually desperate enough to fork over good money for a jar of something called “Stiff Nights”, I can pretty much guarantee they’re not too concerned about their own immediate health and well being.

Having said all that now, the FDA recently issued a warning that “Stiff Nights, a product marketed as a dietary supplement for sexual enhancement, contains an ingredient that can dangerously lower blood pressure and is illegal.”

The gist of it is that… “the FDA determined that the product contains sulfoaildenafil. This is a chemical similar to sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra. Sulfoaildenafil may interact with prescription drugs known as nitrates, including nitroglycerin, and cause dangerously low blood pressure.”

Here’s the link to the official FDA warning page. And another link to the Stiff Nights website.

If you recently bought a Dentley’s Beef Hoof snack for your dog from PetSmart, you might want to take a look at the trea’s UPC code because some of them might have been contaminated with salmonella.

The FDA release says “PetSmart… is voluntarily recalling two Dentley’s Beef Hoof products for potential salmonella contamination… The recalled products include only the following types of Dentley’s Beef Hooves purchased between Oct. 2, 2009 and Nov. 3, 2009: Dentley’s Bulk Cattle Hoof UPC# 73725703323 [and] Dentley’s 10 Pack Beef Hooves UPC# 73725736055”

Here’s the link to the official FDA recall.

Morningstar Foods announced that it is voluntarily recalling several of its’ products because they may contain soy protein.

From the notice… “This recall includes only the products listed. Each product is sold in a cardboard gable-top carton. Consumers can find the expiration date and the plant code on the top of the gable top package. The UPC code will either be located on the back or the side panel of the gable top carton. No other Great Value, Kroger or Wholesome Farm products are involved in this recall.

* 32-ounce Great Value Half & Half: UPC  6 05388 187 16 1, item code 1871600, plant code 21-031, “use by” date of December 16, 2009
* 32-ounce Great Value 36% Heavy Whipping Cream: UPC  6 05388 187 18 5, item code 1871800, plant code 21-031, “use by” date of December 16, 2009
* 32-ounce Kroger brand 36% Heavy Whipping Cream:  UPC  0 11110 438 28 7, item code 4382900, plant code 21-031, “use by” date of December 16 and 17, 2009
* 64-ounce Wholesome Farms Chocolate Ice Cream Mix:  UPC  0 74865 57 983 4, item code  5798300, plant code 21-031, “use by” date of January 7, 2010 (if purchased in a multi-pack, the UPC code is 1 00 74865 57983 1)”

Here’s the link to the official FDA recall notice.

Another FDA recall notice today concerns bodybuilding.com. According to the FDA, “As part of its ongoing cooperation with the Food and Drug Administration… Bodybuilding.com… announced today that it is conducting a voluntary nationwide and international recall of all lots and expiration dates of 65 dietary supplement products… that were sold through the Company’s website.”

Apparently some of these ingredients in some of these supplements may have been spiced with steroids. “Specifically, the FDA has advised the Company of its concern that the Recalled Products may contain the following ingredients that are currently classified, or the FDA believes should be classified, as steroids: “Superdrol,” “Madol,” “Tren,” “Androstenedione,” and/or “Turinabol.””

Why do I suddenly hear the voices of Hans and Franz?

Here’s the official recall list…

Here’s the link to the official FDA recall notice. And here’s a link to bodybuilding.com.

In another recall announcement, “Pelican Bay… is recalling all their Caramel Chocolate Truffle Hot Chocolate Mix because it may contain undeclared tree nuts…. Caramel Chocolate Truffle Hot Chocolate Mix is packaged in a cone shape poly bag with a hanging tag attached to the front of the package and SKU# 3204, UPC 94522 01015 on the back of the label.”

Tree nuts are pretty much everything *except* peanuts, coconuts, nutmeg and water chestnuts. Cashews, almonds, pecans and walnuts all count as tree nuts.

Here’s a link to the official FDA recall notice.