News stories the mainstream media missed : 01/29/11**

Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.

* Another day, another 80’s TV actor caught doing somethin’ illegal. Larry Wilcox, the guy who played Jon from the 80’s TV show CHiPS, was busted for a crime he didn’t commit. OK, he was busted for a crime he won’t be spending any jail time for, but still I guess you can say the CHiPS are down for him now. I should let the CHiPS fall where they may. Perhaps he had a CHiPs on his shoulder? OK, I’m out of crap puns now. LETS HEAR SOME 80s TV MUSIC! [SUN SENTINEL]

* Dear God, we’re really using civilian tech and homemade apps to fight a modern war? Maybe the military would buy my ghetto “Iron Soldier Man” armor made of trash cans and pizza boxes after all! [FOX NEWS]

* Criminals sure are creative. Extremely stupid, but creative! I feel sorry for the police officer having to deal with this one… “So let me get this straight, sir. Your girlfriend, who is in multiple pieces in a cardboard barrel in the back seat of your car, died two days ago after you shagged her to death? Ah. Of course. It all makes perfect sense now! Might I interest you in trying on a pair of steel bracelets I have with me?” [MSNBC]

* On a different kind of crazy, the Voyager 2 spacecraft launched into space in 1977. It’s been in space for 34 years. It flew by Uranus over 25 years ago. It is around 91.898 AU (13.747 billion km, 8.542 billion miles or 0.001443 light years) from the Sun and it STILL HASN’T LEFT OUR SOLAR SYSTEM! That’s a whole lot of crazy if you think about it. [SPACEREF]

* Meanwhile, back on Earth, hundreds of people are actually surprised to see a gorilla walking upright at a local zoo. What? Hundreds of years of hard scientific evidence and research by brilliant dedicated people not good enough to prove evolution? Dammit, we’re never getting off this planet are we? [HUFFINGTON POST]

* In other science-related news, there’s a growing chance that the next few decades may develop a “cure” for aging! I really really really hope “death from aging” will one day be nothing more than a footnote in the medical journals. I have a feeling “death from stupid” will always be with us, though. [POPULAR MECHANICS]

* Speaking of death, when hoarders die, who gets the hoarders hoard? The relatives? The state? Maybe History channel or National Geographic can make a show about it. A cross between “Pickers”, “Pawn Stars”, and “How Clean is Your House” with rooms full of rotting piles of crap that make you go DAAAAAAA. Can’t miss! [NEWSWEEK]

*And finally, Texas got caught in a lie. It’s Texas, so it’s a big big big lie. The Obama stimulus, which the gover-nah constantly bitched and complained about, was actually used to cover 97% of the Texas budget this last year. You would think that much hypocrisy would get somebody struck by lightning! [THE ATLANTIC]

** Actually published Monday because it was my wife’s birthday weekend!

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