A South Texas Gift Shop

This last week I’ve been on the road, traveling all over deeeeeep south Texas as part of my job.

Earlier today I pulled into a small off-the-highway gas station to refuel the company car. Nobody was around, so I figured I would go into the store itself and grab a coffee, some water, a protein bar, and maybe an energy drink for the rest of the trip back home.

The store was charming. The staff said “howdy” as I walked in, the floors and tables were spotless, and the snack section didn’t have any dust on the products.

So far, so good!

But as I was walking out, I saw this in the “gift” section.


South Texas Gift Shop 01

South Texas Gift Shop 01


Um…. ok. This is a… cowboy. And he’s… on his back. And he’s… ah… well… he’s…

OK, I have no idea. None. Zero. Clueless Maximus.

The more I looked directly at it, the more disturbing it became. I did see a little tag on his chest and I moved closer to see if it had something to explain the intention of this… pose.

“Add charm and delight to your home with this timeless keepsake. This premium collectible reminds us that imagination is limitless and dreams are forever. Leaving a vibrant reminder that life is what you make of it with the rich imaginative palette of our creative spirits.”


South Texas Gift Shop 02

South Texas Gift Shop 02



But wait. It gets worse. Much, much, much worse.

On a adjacent table in the gift area was this…


South Texas Gift Shop 03

South Texas Gift Shop 03


A horse.

The cowboy. Had. A matching. Horse.

I was laughing for about 20 minutes after I left and was back on the highway. And to this moment, I still have no idea what those… things were designed for.

For the record, I don’t ever want to know.

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