Here are some news stories from this week that I think the mainstream media completely missed out on. All links are from legitimate news sources and not the fringe / wacko sites.

* The UK is being all twirly-mustache evil this week, as “U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron announced plans to use “hundreds of millions of pounds” from dormant bank accounts to fund community projects”. OK, first of all, “dormant” bank accounts? Also known as savings and checking accounts that belong to someone or someone’s heirs? And since when does government do anything “to fund community projects”? [BLOOMBERG]

* A UK website called “The Times” got tired of giving away all their high-quality hard-hitting reporting for free, so they started charging users to read their website online. About three weeks later, their readership fell 90%. Causation? Correlation? Karma? Who? What? When? Where? Why? What? Somebody get on this story! And Olsen, stop calling me chief! [GUARDIAN.CO.UK]

* The federal government is seizing high-end shower heads? And fining companies that make them? Get outta’ here! Apparently, “a 1992 federal law says a showerhead can deliver no more than 2.5 gallons per minute at a flowing water pressure of 80 pounds per square inch”, so now the Feds are going around to companies that make “illegal” shower heads and delivering the pain. Why the hell does the federal government get to say what I put in my own shower in my own home when I pay for the water I use? If I want to be so stupid as to bathe with a firehose, it’s my right to do so! [WALL STREET JOURNAL]

* BP is doctoring photos and people are shocked? This is the same company that nuked the Gulf of Mexico! A little photo manipulation and forgery is what their interns do after they get the morning coffee and donuts! [CNN]

* The pentagon has nooooo idea where $9.1 billion in Iraq reconstruction money went in Iraq. Let me put that in a “real” perspective… based on the July 2009 US population, that’s $30 cash money they could have given every single individual that lives in the United States. That’s a lot of money. [YAHOO]

* I saw something by the AP I wanted to post here, but I gotta’ be careful about using quotes from their articles as they apparently have lawyers that donkey punch great white sharks for breakfast just to get in the right mood for the day. So all I’m going to do is post the headline : “Obama’s message to voters: Things could be worse.” Yowza! [AP]

* This story wins the “No way! Can they do that?” award for the week. A man swallowed a USB drive as he was getting arrested that apparently contained “credit and debit card numbers from ATMs” he stole. He thought destroying the evidence would get him off the hook. But the authorities got a warrant to have a surgeon go in and get the USB drive out from his intestines. Dude! You can warrant a surgery? Yes he was a bad guy and yes he was trying to destroy evidence, but you can warrant a surgery? [UPI]

* So this guy robs a bank, and all anyone can remember is that he wore “a woman’s blond wig, fake breasts under a sweater and clown pants.” I just can’t add anything funnier to that. [MSNBC]

That’s all I got. Back Monday!!